0:00Hi, everyone.
0:00Welcome back to the Change Your Mind podcast.
0:02I'm your host, Kris Ashley.
0:04I'm really excited for our conversation today.
0:06First couple quick announcements, head over to the link in the show notes.
0:10You'll find a link to my book.
0:12Change your Mind to change your reality.
0:14You'll find a link to my free workshops, to my courses, to all kinds of resources that are going to help you along your journey along your healing journey and like, comment, share, subscribe, please.
0:28Let's help.
0:28Spread the good word.
0:30I think the world needs a lot of love, a lot of healing right now.
0:32So let's start it right here in our community.
0:35Hi, I'm Kris.
0:37When I was younger I went through trauma that caused me to feel broken and lost.
0:42But my life changed after I had a spiritual awakening.
0:45Since then, I've dedicated my life to studying and learning from masters all around the world that have helped me to create a life of fulfillment and abundance beyond my wildest dreams.
0:55Now I'm dedicated to sharing everything I've learned so that you don't have to suffer for decades.
0:59Like I did, I've seen people's lives completely transform and I share it all right here.
1:07Ok.
1:08So I'm really excited for my guest tonight.
1:11I have Casey Eileen Knight with me.
1:14So Casey is a spiritual teacher, mentor, author and speaker and founder of Luminous Evolution, a revolutionary movement that is all about blending personal spiritual and business development for healers, coaches and practitioners so they can share their magic with the world.
1:32Casey has almost 20 years of transformational coaching and facilitation experience and has created her own incredible energy work modality that helps to restore people to their divine essence and activate their soul gifts.
1:46She loves empowering people and helping them embody their magic from intuitive development to activating their soul voice, to hosting workshops and retreats in her private mentorship, digital courses, certifications or postcards and more.
2:00And I don't know about you, but I just got excited reading all of that.
2:04I can't wait to ask about it all.
2:06So welcome, Casey.
2:06I'm so excited.
2:07You're here.
2:09Thank you so much for having me.
2:11It's such a pleasure.
2:13Yeah, absolutely.
2:14And I, I think it's gonna be a really cool conversation because I haven't had anyone on the show yet where we're talking about the business side of healers and coaches.
2:25So I'm excited to dive in.
2:27But I'm gonna, I'm gonna start this conversation the same way I start all of my conversations and that is by asking you, what is your origin story.
2:35What led you on this path?
2:37What made you want to do this in the first place.
2:41We have to go way back.
2:44My origin story is when I was actually eight years old and I was just hanging out.
2:51I was by myself and I was actually immersed in this light of spirit.
2:57And it was this very like tangible physical experience of being in the most divine love.
3:05But I was told that I was going to be a spiritual teacher.
3:11I already had enough ego that was trying to protect me.
3:14At this time.
3:16I was like, no, no, no, no, no, no.
3:21And this beautiful voice of creation, God source universe, whatever it was, whatever you call it was like when your older love and showed me these images of really having a global impact and honestly scared the pants off of me and I stuffed that way down for many years, didn't tell a soul.
3:48And I spent the next while trying to figure out like what to do with my life when I grew up.
3:56I mean, how nice though that someone came and told you what your sole purpose is.
4:00Like.
4:01So many of us are just like fumbling around trying to figure it out, right?
4:05For so many years, it's like they made it easy for you.
4:10Yes.
4:10And I didn't fully want to claim it or own it for a very long time.
4:17And I didn't want to claim title of being a healer.
4:21I didn't want that kind of responsibility.
4:24I remember being 14 years old and having this whole plan for like a Wellness Center.
4:30Hey, this name Synergy Wellness Center, which has been taken now, but I'm 41.
4:34So this was many, many years ago before there were all of these integrative medical or wellness centers.
4:40And I was like, oh, I will administrate.
4:44I'm not gonna have anything to do with the magic or the healing or any of the practitioner, practitioner stuff.
4:50I'm just gonna be the administrator and help the healers do their thing.
4:55I couldn't conceive of a role where I would be doing the work.
5:01Really?
5:03Why do you think that is, what was the, what was the block there?
5:06What were you afraid of?
5:09You know, I think it's something that a lot of us have had an experience with and for short form, I think it's called the witch wound where it's this fear of stepping into our power and our magic.
5:25It's like that Marianne Williamson quote, right?
5:28I'm not gonna remember the whole thing off the top of my head, but it's like it's your light, not your darkness that most terrifies you.
5:35Right?
5:36Oh, very much.
5:37And there were threads of truth to some of this because I am here specifically not to be on like the front lines, but I'm a helper of the helpers and healers.
5:47I work with people that are already doing the work to help them expand So that's one piece of it.
5:54But it took me a long time to heal many past life wounds and other things where I had responsibility for others.
6:03And it also had a thing around the word healer and healing because I was like, well, I can help you heal.
6:14I can give you tools for you to heal.
6:16I can be an example of what that looks like and I can guide you through the process, but I'm not doing it for you.
6:21So I'm not a healer.
6:22I didn't like that word at all because of all of the baggage that it came with too.
6:27That makes sense because the only person that can really heal you is yourself right?
6:32Healers kind of guide you towards that path, that inward path, but you're doing all the work.
6:37So I, I get that, that makes sense that resonates and I had to do some like unplugging of the word to really feel comfortable using it and be like, OK, we'll use it because that's what people identify with.
6:51But I would still rather be a guide, a space holder, a teacher, an activator than a healer.
6:56But I know I'm here to help healers, bring their gifts, their voice, their message, their work, their light to the world and ripple it out.
7:06Yeah.
7:06And it's really cool that you ended up in that role because you had resistance to being that global healer.
7:13It's almost like you knew like, yeah, that's kind of the path but it's not exactly my role.
7:18It's like you intuitively knew that.
7:22Yeah, I think I had to drop a lot of labels and just let it be what it was and allow it to evolve into what it is.
7:33And honestly, English is just so full of weird pieces that we can speak words to people and we're not gonna get the same thing.
7:45So sometimes it's just brought with these different definitions and everything like that.
7:51So sometimes I like just to go beyond words and just speak the language of frequency and essence and try to skip all of the, the definitions that we might not agree on.
8:00Absolutely.
8:01And it's, it's also so subjective in a weird way.
8:06OK, so, so your path has led you to be this assistant to healers in a way.
8:12I mean, if assistant is the right word to assist them and what does that look like?
8:17What are you doing now with, with this role?
8:22I have a giant tool kit.
8:24So I have done many, many things to support healers with their voice with what they're sharing with the world with their own personal energetic flow.
8:35And also right now, my passion is supporting them in really facilitating a transformational journey for people, whether it's a one on one journey or it is with groups, I think when we try to do healing work in like a single one hour session.
8:56We're really not able to have the impact that we desire because they call it a healing journey because it's a freaking journey, right?
9:05So I love to support healers and coaches and helpers learn how to create these transformational journeys, to walk their clients through the process that needs to happen and hold space for them to not just have whatever healing modality they're doing, but to have the integration of the new identity, the new frequency of whatever it is that they're doing to shift the mindset pieces to help with the emotional regulation and the aligned actions.
9:34I think we need more time than just an hour.
9:37So teaching people how to do coaching packages, VIP days, events like workshops and even retreats to have that immersive experience where you can really go on the journey.
9:50Yeah, and you, you, you brought up so many things that I want to ask about and you kind of touched on it.
9:55But first of all, what kind of healers do you work with?
9:59I know you said coaches, I know you said healers like who is your ideal client?
10:05They like to say it's the helpers, the people who look at the world and they're like I can help.
10:13So it's a pretty wide variety of people that work with people that are in the health world, in the intuitive energy work world in the physical alignment, space, massage therapists, but also people who do mindset coaching, who are working with intuitive development, who are doing energy work, who are working with like Eng Shui and Home Decor Design.
10:39I've worked with lots of psychologists actually and therapists and social workers.
10:44So the basic thing that brings them all together is that they, they wanna help.
10:51But they also know that they have to be the example of the change for their clients so that their clients can actually download the codes from them to go from A to B.
11:05Yeah.
11:06And also they have to be a business owner, right?
11:09Which is a very, very different skill than being a healer or being a coach.
11:15And you know, I I just think about myself, I spend half my time reading spiritual things to keep learning, like spiritual material, keep learning and growing in that aspect.
11:25The other half is all business, right?
11:28Because I'm trying to grow a business here and those require two different sides of my brain.
11:34So I imagine there's a lot of coming in of you're coming in and just trying to teach them that end of it.
11:43First thing that I really like to support people with is standing their capacity to hold more because without it, we can't hold all these hats that we need to have it.
11:54And actually really balance our physical, emotional, spiritual and mental realms, I call them so that we can be working in this holistic space because even though they seem like they're two different sides, the business and the spirituality, we actually can integrate the two different things.
12:16You might be thinking right?
12:17Brain, left brain, right.
12:19But actually for the spiritual stuff to be really extra potent and magical, you need the intuitive and the analytical, the science and the magic, the creative and the intellectual and it's the same for business.
12:33So I like to bridge things together.
12:35So we're working in wholeness.
12:38That totally makes sense.
12:39I totally get that, especially as someone who likes to back up all the spirituality I teach with science that really, really resonates.
12:46So what do you find most of these people are struggling with, like where do they really need your help?
12:54You know, recently it's been with the perfecting paradigm or program and also overwhelm have a lot of people who come to meet who have big dreams and they also have this superpower of being very detail oriented that's turned up way too high.
13:16So they have this expert expectation that it's got to be perfect from the get go and they kind of getting stuck because they're like, I don't know how to do it perfectly.
13:27So I just have to continue training and researching and practicing or but not even practicing, like just doing the intellectual part to learn how to do it perfectly when that doesn't exist.
13:38And I help people remove the perfection program that has been instilled on them that says if you don't do it perfectly.
13:46You're worthless.
13:47You're a piece of garbage, which is what they're telling themselves and say you're gonna go so much further, so much faster if you take consistent action and it can be messy action and you're gonna make mistakes and you're going to align and learn and grow into what you wanna do into that perfection of like that mastery so much faster than just trying to learn it from the sitting still and researching phase.
14:15That makes sense.
14:16It's like analysis paralysis, right?
14:18And, and I've been told that a lot too, it's like, ok, you just get out there and you do the damn thing, right?
14:24Like, like just thinking about retreats because that's something that I personally am starting to do.
14:29It's like, you know, maybe you, you keep it a little lower price this time, you find a venue, you figure out your content, you do your marketing and you just do it and then you're gonna learn from it and then you do it again and then you're gonna learn and you keep, you keep adapting, right?
14:49Because that's what business is really about.
14:50Really.
14:51It's about being able to adapt.
14:54Absolutely.
14:55And I think that study is amazing.
14:58I love it.
14:59And I mean, I've got certification programs where people can learn how and the skills that they need.
15:05But I want it to be balanced with practice, like you're saying, so they can actually practice, make mistakes, fine tune it and then weave the two together.
15:16That's that path to monstery.
15:19I also really, really, really recommend that, you know, with a whole freaking retreat, start with like a workshop, start with an hour or three, an intimate group of people and grow from that place.
15:38So when you work with someone, let's say that someone wants to start putting on retreats just because we're already talking about that when you come in, do you hold their hand through the whole thing?
15:47Do you help them plan it?
15:48Do you help with the marketing?
15:50Do you help with each little piece along the way?
15:52Like what is, what is your role look like?
15:56My role is less on the marketing and the planning because that's not my place where I feel the happiest I certainly could for a private client.
16:07for that piece, I have a beautiful checklist that is something that people can implement when they're wanting to do it.
16:15That is has been built between me and my beautiful like program head between the two of us.
16:22We've got 40 years of event planning experience.
16:25We got the checklist there.
16:26You can like just check the things off with this checklist and planner and our systems and our templates.
16:33I want to spend my time supporting people with is actually basically three phases.
16:39And this is what we work with in my transformational journey, facilitator program first, getting yourself aligned, knowing who you are and how to hold your energy so that you can be a great facilitator and coach because I think that has to be first, like we need stability so that we are able to be the best facilitator possible.
17:01Then I teach them the skills, the structures, the templates for space holding and how people need to learn and have all of these different pieces.
17:13That's all are required for someone to actually have that transformational journey.
17:18So I give them the accelerated learning template.
17:21I give them the five different realms of creation.
17:23I give them my evolutionary alchemy system and I show them how to be how to apply these to any niche to use your magic in this alchemy with these systems and templates.
17:34So that, you know, if you just do this, your people are gonna have the most amazing transformational time.
17:41I teach them a lot about creating containment, making sure it's trauma informed how to hold space for people when they are going through like big feelings, how to create enough time for sharing.
17:55So people feel heard and seen like all of those actual tangible pieces of what to do inside the retreat.
18:03And also we do the same thing with coaching.
18:06So yeah, thanks for explaining all that.
18:10I have a bunch of questions for sure now.
18:11But you know, the first one is like, what advice just going back to how what you said before, like start with a three hour workshop, you know, start small.
18:19What advice do you have to someone who, who tried to do that?
18:23Like, maybe they've tried to create like a small 1 to 3 hour workshop.
18:27They've put a bunch of money into advertising and then no one's showing up, like, and they're just feeling defeated.
18:33Like, what do you tell people then?
18:34What's the, what's the magic to, to get that off the ground?
18:40First off, I would say congratulations for giving it a try and well done.
18:45It doesn't mean anything about you personally.
18:47It's just data, a scientific experiment that like doesn't prove a hypothesis is not a failure.
18:54It's a success.
18:56It means we now know it doesn't work, which is amazing.
18:59So we gotta like, first off, erase all of that stuff where you make it mean that you suck and you can't do it because that's not true at all.
19:07There's a couple of things that I would say one is you have to look at your own energetics.
19:12Were you actually available?
19:15Were you actually open to holding this?
19:18And were you ready to do it?
19:21Because sometimes you have to do some alignment for yourself to, did you have the skill set necessary to hold a group of people who might not be in a good frame of mind if you had a bunch of people who are super stressed out and like having just walked through a bunch of traumas because like, I mean, didn't the whole world would you know what to do if one of them was having a really hard time, would you be able to hold that space or would you cause more harm with it if that, the answer is not?
19:51Yes.
19:51I know.
19:51Without a shadow of a doubt that I could hold people through that.
19:55I would say you probably need a little bit more training and you can, I can definitely hook you up with that if that's what you need.
20:01And then third, I would say start even smaller if that one where you invest a bunch of money taped, do something where you don't have to pay for a venue, either do it at your home or like find a space where you're not being charged, a friend's home, a gazebo outside, something like that where the stakes are lower.
20:23So your nervous system can feel really relaxed and like it's not super high stakes thing where you're gonna lose money and then you could invite people that, you know, would come and you could even do it for free the first time.
20:38Sometimes we have to take like, I don't wanna call them itty bitty baby steps, but the baby step is momentous, right?
20:45This big thing that you try to do didn't work back it all the way up.
20:49So it feels so freaking easy.
20:53I think that's really beautiful advice.
20:55And I, I like how you started off with, like, yeah, this is data.
20:59Good job.
20:59We know it doesn't work.
21:00And it reminds me of,,, who's the guy that made the light bulbs?
21:06, Edison.
21:08Edison?
21:09Yeah.
21:09I don't know why I was, like, thinking Einstein Edison.
21:11Yeah, he's like, I remember reading, like, a reporter asked him, you tried to make a light bulb 10,000 times and failed.
21:18Like, why did you keep going?
21:19He's like, I didn't fail.
21:20I found 10,000 ways to not make a light bulb.
21:22, ok, so that's really a great advice.
21:26And you, you, you've touched on something a couple times now about making it trauma enforced,, trauma informed, being able to hold space in case someone is having that really difficult time.
21:37Talk to me about how you go about doing that.
21:42So we can't create safe places for people and we can't promise that because you never know what's gonna be a trigger for someone.
21:49And unfortunately, a lot of people have had a lot of awful things happen to them, but we can do two pieces.
21:56One is we can create a safer space by setting up a container that feels really secure for people and their nervous systems.
22:04And I'll talk a little bit more in depth about that.
22:06At number two is we have to ourselves be ok and like be able to be a clear channel even if someone else is going to be going through something going to be just regulated.
22:20You have to be basically a rock who's not gonna then spin out themselves.
22:28Yeah, totally.
22:28Can you talk about that first?
22:30That first part for me?
22:31Yeah.
22:31Absolutely.
22:33, some are a container that feels safe and secure to people if they're going to do any kind of transformational work is so important.
22:42So, to me what this looks like is first creating a physical space that feels calm and welcoming.
22:49So your atmosphere and ambiance.
22:52Secondly, it's not just diving right in to your magical modalities and your activations and the journeys that you're gonna go on.
23:02I've seen people do that and it, I will equate it to sex without foreplay.
23:09It is just not a vibe, it's way too intense, it can be like uncomfortable, you know, we need to warm people up, we need to make them feel comfortable and safe, like buy them dinner first, basically, right?
23:24And then means telling people what you're gonna do, introducing yourself, explaining how the day is gonna go or the event is gonna go explaining where the washrooms are.
23:35And I'd like to tell or show people how to do practices to get people out of their head into their heart and open and relaxed because if people don't feel comfortable, if they're feeling anxious or nervous, their shields are up, they're not gonna actually get the benefit from your beautiful experience unless you can get them into that state.
23:59Where they're open and receptive if they are worried about what's gonna happen, if they're worried about like, oh my gosh, is there gonna be a bathroom break?
24:06I kind of think I had too much coffee.
24:08Like they're not gonna really enjoy the sound healing or whatever, you know, experiences that you have planned for the day.
24:15We also talk energetically about creating a a space where, you know, like energy can flow and move.
24:23There are some people that will shield something so hard that like energy can't flow out and you know, divine energy can't flow in and then like energies just bounce around in the space.
24:33Like there's a lot of pieces that go in to masterfully hosting a transformational event.
24:41Yeah, totally.
24:43I, I really like that explanation.
24:46So what do you, what about when someone has been triggered?
24:50What if you have someone that's been triggered?
24:52You're you're on this event by yourself.
24:54You have this whole group to take care of.
24:56Someone's obviously having some emotions.
25:00What do you advise people on that?
25:04Actually, I would never advise that you host an event that's bigger than a couple people by yourself.
25:11So that's first and foremost, you should have someone there with you supporting you and holding space supporting you in the little pieces and someone who would be able to be, I've heard it called like an angel guide or a space holder or something who could support that person while you are doing the majority of the work or who could take over the group facilitation or just something like that.
25:37Secondly, part of the piece is setting like all of the things that I teach people and how to set it up can lessen that we in my practices and the way that I train people and the way that I host events, we make sure that people know that emotions might come up and that they're welcome and that we tell all the other participants and we all create this like agreement that people are allowed to have feelings.
26:07So people walk uncomfortable and they might have an expression and they might be crying, they might have something like that and no one's gonna go up and be like, oh gosh, here's some Kleenex, stop crying.
26:18I'm uncomfortable with that, right?
26:19Like we create the space where somebody could feel comfortable to just go and cry in a corner and that's totally fine and you can let them know that they can check in with you or you might be like, hey, can I support you now or afterwards?
26:35But it doesn't have to be like a huge big thing if you set it up properly.
26:42Totally.
26:42So what do you advise people who have that supports that support person?
26:48What do you advise that person to say?
26:50Like when you, because you know, if someone is having a, a serious emotional reaction.
26:56Right.
26:56It's, it's probably a good idea to check in with them as one of the facil facilitators.
27:01So, how do you approach that person?
27:03What do you say?
27:05Yeah.
27:06, well, again, I would personally set this all up at, in the opening circle where I'm explaining everything and also with my support person, it would depend on their level of support, the people that I get to support my stuff.
27:19They're, they're usually facilitators I've trained.
27:21So I will just be like, can you go check on them, please?
27:24Right.
27:24But if I was working in a group where I didn't have that, I would probably be the one personally to be like, hey, I just wanna check in if you need to exit for a little bit, go ahead.
27:37I can check in with you or we can have a conversation outside.
27:41There's water.
27:42Do you need, you know, some time just letting you know that we can also talk about this after this, you know, event and just checking in with what they need but not making it a really big deal like, oh my God, are you ok?
27:53Like nobody needs that, right?
27:57Mostly giving them space but letting them know that you're there available as a resource and support and a lot of times people just need space.
28:04They might need some water.
28:06They, you know what I mean?
28:07Like they just usually need that kind of thing.
28:10And if it's something big that they really need support with moving,, we would do that outside of the circle.
28:17Right.
28:17We would do that outside and, you know, we could suggest to the person that they could, you know, just hang out either inside the group or outside and you would be able to support them after you're done facilitating.
28:30Yeah.
28:30Yeah, totally.
28:31That makes sense.
28:32, you know, I'm just, I'm interested in it.
28:35I used to run yoga teacher training and I would have a couple of people on staff.
28:40I would have usually like mid thirties.
28:43It would be like the number of group people in the group.
28:46And, you know, for anyone listening that's gone through yoga teacher training, it's kind of like group therapy in a way.
28:51And you know, we would often have people who got triggered or had emotional reactions and it makes me feel good to know that all the advice you just gave were things that we did regularly.
29:05So, but I was just you know, I'm curious also if there's other things we can do and I think it's good for listeners too.
29:14So thanks for, thanks for reassuring me a little bit there.
29:19So, and if I can just also add, that's one of the reasons I also include coaching in my transformational journey, facilitator training.
29:28So if you know how to work with someone, one on one and support them because I think that you need to have both to be a really masterful facilitator because you, I have situations like this where you need to be in that one on one environment.
29:43So having tools to help people move energy, tools to help people maybe shift a belief system tools to help people move emotions in a way that that works.
29:53So I give people those tools that they can use in individual situations as well as group situations.
29:59Yeah.
30:00Yeah, I know it's super important because as a coach, you need to be able to work with someone, right?
30:06You need to be able to work with someone.
30:07One on one, it is a different skill set a little bit than facilitating a large group.
30:12You know, they're, I can see like how having that foundation would be important before conducting like a whole group session and leading a whole group through an exercise.
30:24So have you, you know, a lot of times these healers or coaches, most of the time have come from a place of their own trauma, right?
30:34They've gone on their own healing journey.
30:37Something has awakened in them.
30:38They've, they've wanted to, they've, they've gone through this whole healing journey, they've transformed their own lives, they've reinvented themselves and then something in them wants to give back and help to other people.
30:50So have you found that people making that shift from their own healing journey to leading others through?
30:56It goes smoothly?
30:57Have you noticed like difficulties that people have just curious about that.
31:03Is it ever smooth?
31:04Like it's kind of a wild ride, I think.
31:09And that bridge from being a someone on the healing journey to being a healer can be a little bit undefined for people.
31:17And I often work with people in my private practice who are really in that bridge space.
31:24And what I have to teach them is that there's a point where you stop digging to do your own healing.
31:34You have to stop looking for things to heal and you start identifying as someone who is living their life and things are gonna come up and you can you use your tools and heal yourself as needed.
31:49But you also to stop digging and looking and really identifying is still being on the healing journey in order to make that shift.
31:56And you have to start acting as though you are that version of you who is already healed by learning to live and enjoy your life in the state to step into a different role.
32:07Right.
32:08Absolutely.
32:10So how does that go over when you tell people that usually people are like, oh Right.
32:17Yes, of course.
32:19But it can sometimes take some practice because we can really have deep programs and habits and these are in the subconscious mind often of like, oh, I, I need to fix this.
32:31I need to heal myself.
32:32I need to keep looking for things So I love to really help people rewire their subconscious or their unconscious mind to start identifying in this new way because it, it is a big leap.
32:47So what advice do you have for someone who has been on that healing journey?
32:51And they're ready to pivot and they want to start helping others and they don't know where to start.
32:58There is a period that I think we need to really honor where you don't just step from healing journey into.
33:08I am healing others.
33:10There's this space in between where you need to really stabilize your energy field, expand out everything that you have and like I said before, start to live your life, start to have fun.
33:26Start to create more, start to play more.
33:28Start to use your voice and speak your truth and practice living in this new flow that you have as like an aligned healed creator being and then start to build your practice after you've kind of got at least had a little bit of time in that space.
33:47That makes sense because everything is, is a journey, right?
33:51Everything nothing happens just like on the turn of a dime.
33:55So for people who are listening and, and and think that they want to help others, like what's the best way to get started?
34:09There are so many ways to help people.
34:13What I think if you don't already have a calling, you're like, I know I'm supposed to do this modality or do it in this way is you need to again sit with yourself and start to really start to connect with your soul, your soul's voice and tune into what your unique path is.
34:32And typically it's gonna have something to do with the journey that you just had.
34:36And you can be like, ok, well, what helped me, what was the most supportive to me?
34:40Who was I two years ago, five years ago?
34:43And what did she need to hear or they need to hear?
34:47And you can start to really see what people need that way and see how you can support them in that.
34:54And it might include more training, more study, more practice.
34:57But then really showing up as an example of what it looks like to survive and thrive for those challenges is really one of the most potent things you can do.
35:09Yeah, I really like that.
35:11You said survive and thrive.
35:13So how do you ok.
35:14How do you make, how do you navigate that balance between wanting to support people, wanting to help heal people but also not wanting to feed into someone's story of victimization?
35:27Hm.
35:28That's such a good question.
35:31There is an element that I believe healers, teachers, coaches need to hold which is spiritual maturity and the capacity to see somebody and their journey without needing to come in as the fixer of it and allow them to have their journey.
35:51So that's part of the space holding thing and not go into the savior kind of thing that can also sometimes happen where like I, I have to fix you because that's gonna make me feel better or something like that.
36:04So first off, we have to learn how to care but not try to carry somebody that's really, really important.
36:11And then also having the tools to walk people on the journey one little bit at a time without needing to rush it and with allowing the person to make mistakes.
36:23So you said you are pregnant, which is amazing.
36:26Is this gonna be your first or do you have kids?
36:29It's gonna be my first.
36:30Yeah.
36:31So exciting.
36:32So this is really cool because the way healers get to do this is by learning what like the best parents do as your kid is a little baby.
36:43Obviously, you have to do everything for them right now.
36:46You're doing literally everything and the entire journey of parenting is letting them do more and more on their own while you hold space and you guide and you give them tools and you, you know, give advice.
36:59But if you parent by always doing everything for your kid, they are gonna turn out to be useless and spoiled and entitled and beat like that's not the vibe we can't parent that way and we can't heal that way either.
37:17We have to do that thing where we allow people to have the tools and take them if they wish and go on their own journey while we're here, supporting them, rooting for them, cheering them on and being an example.
37:32Yeah, I like everything you said.
37:33I'm, I'm, I'm still a little unclear on, you know, not like walking that line but of not feeding into their story and their victimization because, you know, I wanna, I, I, I want to empower people.
37:48I'm sure listeners want to empower people.
37:49I'm sure so many people that that are healers and coaches want to empower people.
37:54So how do we make something quote unquote, trauma informed where we're, we're being sensitive, we're taking care of people's needs, but we also don't want to use your metaphor baby them too much, right?
38:07We want them to step in their own power.
38:09We want them to change their story because changing their story changes their life.
38:14Hm.
38:15There is a fine line and I know I walk very intuitively with my clients.
38:25I move into their energy field and I am a mother and with my child, I know just intuitively instinctively by following her energy and also just, I don't know, tapping into whatever cosmic mother energy as well when she needs me to just hold her when she needs me not to tell her, we told you not to do that.
38:49And look now you're hurt like when she just needs that comfort and space holding and then when it's appropriate to offer the life lesson.
38:57Like, wow, that really sucked.
38:59You know, what are we learning from this?
39:01How are we going to move forward and support her in not staying stuck in the energy of wow, that really sucked, you know, and like crying and like wallowing in it and what like it's just following this flow.
39:16Kids are better at it though than adult humans.
39:19Adult humans have these beliefs and thoughts that can like make them ruminate and wallow and wanna stay stuck.
39:26So sometimes we get to be an example of like, yeah, that, that sucked.
39:30I'm so sorry and you get to feel your feelings and we're really big on this is feel all of the feelings and you have to move them through your body, then you have to shift the beliefs that are keeping you stuck in looping the feelings which are creates a cascade of effects in your body.
39:49So we can go in after the feelings are felt to look at the subconscious mind and the belief systems and say what needs to shift because there's something here that is not supporting you if you want to move forward, which I know you do because you're working with me and then we do that emotional and mental work and then once those things are aligned, we can be OK.
40:07What are the next action steps?
40:09Yeah, I like, I like the answer.
40:11Yeah, I like that answer and you know it it makes me think of like my husband and I, whenever one of us is upset, the other person has learned to be like, do you need comfort or do you need solutions?
40:22Because when you want comfort, having someone just like, give you solutions is just awful, right?
40:29But sometimes, you know, you don't need to be like, feeling smothered by it.
40:33You wanna, you want someone to be like, ok, let's like, figure this out, right?
40:37Like, let's have a conversation.
40:39It makes me think of Tony Robbins too because he's so good at, he's so intuitive like you were saying about what people need.
40:46I don't know if you've seen his little behind the scenes documentary called I'm not your guru.
40:50But he gives this one woman really tough love, like really tough love and it's, it's what she needed in the moment and he gives this other woman, he kind of comes at her a little tough.
41:01And then as soon as she tells him a story, she had this horrible story.
41:05She was raised in this cult where she was like continuously raped as like from a child.
41:11And as soon as he heard her story, he became that like super soft, super comforting, he was crying with her.
41:20And then it's, it's interesting and it's, it's what they both needed, right?
41:23But it's interesting because later in that documentary, they interviewed the woman who got the tough love and she was like, well, why couldn't I have gotten the coddling that that woman got, you know, like, she was, like, a little bit bitter about it.
41:36And then she kind of finally admitted, like, you know, that's probably what I needed.
41:40But it's, it's interesting, you know, and you never really know how someone's gonna react in that kind of way.
41:45Right.
41:47Absolutely.
41:48And the other piece that I like to follow because you can ask people like, what do you need from me right now?
41:53You can straight up ask that or what do you want from me?
41:56Because they might not know what they need.
41:58We can follow the flow intuitively.
41:59We can have the skill set and the practice because you, you might actually not get this right a few times and then have to try a different tactic.
42:07I've had a lot of times where I've been like, oh OK.
42:09No, we need to go into this mode when I thought we were in this mode.
42:14But we have to also understand how the nervous system works because if somebody is totally dis regulated, like there's no access to any of the higher level, like let's move forward pieces.
42:27So I like to check in with where someone is at energetically, physically, spiritually, emotionally and literally in their nervous system so that we can know where we need to be and where we can go.
42:38And obviously, I've got skills to help people get to where they need to go in that regard too.
42:43But yeah, if somebody has their fight or flight shields up and they don't feel safe, they're not gonna have access to their intuition, their logic.
42:52They're like, oh, I think this could help move forward, kind of intellect either.
42:56It's so, it's so true when someone is, when their nervous system is deregulated or they're in body and brain incoherence, no new information can come into their nervous system that's not related to that emotion thought loop that they're just stuck in, right?
43:11So how do you so OK, good question for you.
43:14How do you check in with someone's nervous system?
43:17How do you look at someone and be like, OK, they're in dysregulation right now, like nothing I say is gonna get through.
43:24So first, I want to make it clear that I am not an expert in, you know, somatic therapy or nervous system regulation, but I do have a lot of practice with this stuff and a lot of tools work.
43:36But one thing we need to always know is when you are out of your scope as a coach or as a facilitator and when you need to refer out.
43:44So there's, it's really important to have the ability to go, you know what I think you might need to go and see somebody who has more expertise in that to really get to the root of this stuff.
43:55And that being said, when somebody is super dysregulated.
43:59I like to support them in coming into presence.
44:06If we can.
44:07First, we might need to dispel or discharge some of the energy tools that have worked for me and work for many of my clients.
44:14But your mileage may vary include shaking, like literally shaking and making noise to get rid of some of that energy, tone it, doing breathwork practices coming into the heart.
44:28I've also really find it supportive to once we've moved some energy, asking someone's luminous team to come in and support and offer the love and the healing that they require.
44:40So I find when we first move the energy and then we bring people into presence, call in their team and ask via source spirit, their team a lot of times like even grandma energy will come through, they can feel the comfort and the love that they need in that moment.
44:58Yeah, I think, I think those are all really great tools to bring someone down.
45:04I guess I wanna go back to my original question like when you're looking at someone and you're, you're trying to figure out that intuitive path you want to take, right?
45:12Is this person need comfort right now?
45:15Does they need, do they need solutions?
45:17Do they need whatever?
45:19How do you, how do you know by looking at them that you're like that?
45:22They're like, oh they just need some like breath work right now like they're, they're too far gone to like, hear what I'm saying.
45:31I think for me it's a combination of intuition because I've spent, you know, many years honing my intuition, but also a lot of experience.
45:41So I do have all of my psychic senses activated.
45:46I am Claire Sentient Claire Cognizant.
45:49So like part of it is I just know because I can sense it and I can feel it in my own body too.
45:57There's also cues that like just by what people are saying, right?
46:01By what people are presenting with their body language that I think you can tune into as well.
46:07And it'll come evident in conversation if somebody keeps deflecting what you're saying or they're twisting it or whatever, you can go.
46:14OK.
46:15This is a sign if somebody is like, you know, like making all kinds of, you know, like anything you say they're like, no, I can't do that, right?
46:22Like you can, you can hear that you can feel it even if you're not clear sentient, he's clear sentient.
46:29You should be clear sentient, you should be able to feel people's energy if you're doing this work, I think that's actually like you should be open enough that you can feel them, but we're, we're energy animals.
46:39We can tell if someone's stressed out, right?
46:42Like we can survive, everybody's got this.
46:45Yeah, I like I like that explanation.
46:49OK.
46:49So what about for people who want to get started?
46:53They, they wanna become a coach or a healer and they're feeling imposter syndrome.
46:59They're looking out there at Instagram and it seems like every other person and their mother is a mindset coach these days, they're, they're like, how do I even break into this?
47:08Like, what do you say to someone who's really compo first off?
47:14Sometimes it's, we don't feel ready because we literally aren't.
47:18And we have to be OK with that and then we go, ok, what do I need to do to be ready to do this?
47:24Do I need to do my own personal development work?
47:26Do I need to do my own mindset work or do I need to study something like a modality that can help me get there?
47:33And then if you've got the modality, maybe you need to practice a bit before you go and start to create something I'm really big on like basically doing it in such a small way that it feels comfortable that you don't feel like you're, you're reaching or that you're pretending to be something that you're not and growing from that place.
47:55So when you're wanting to start coaching or healing, you start for free, I always make my coaches and I suggest people do a practicum where you're not charging for your gifts.
48:06At first, you are doing it for free and you're letting that person know that you are studying and their energy exchange is going to be feedback to you, maybe a testimonial and you practice enough times with people and maybe first it's somebody that, you know, you really trust that, you know, is gonna feel safe with you and then you grow from that place and you're gonna get the confidence through the action, right?
48:29It's that piece around.
48:31Not waiting for it to be perfect, not waiting for yourself to be perfect.
48:34But going like I'm actually gonna get better at this faster if I take messy action and I let myself practice with somebody and it doesn't have to be perfect.
48:43Yeah, I like that advice.
48:44I did that when I first started out.
48:46Actually, I was part of a business coaching group and I had them all take my course and I gave it to him for not for free, but super cheap in exchange for testimonials and in exchange for feedback and it was great.
48:59We all did it for each other and it was, it was really perfect.
49:05You know, I do, I do want to challenge you a little bit on what you first said, like maybe you're not ready because I don't know if anyone's ever like 100% ready, right?
49:14Like there's, there's something to fake it till you make it right.
49:17There's something about taking action, taking a leap of faith, getting outside of your comfort zone and, and allowing yourself to grow that way, right?
49:27Like there's that little bit of a sink or swim.
49:29That doesn't mean taking like huge action.
49:31Like I loved your advice about starting small, maybe offering for free.
49:35, but I don't know, I think, I think if someone feels they're ready, even if they have that fear, you know, oftentimes fear is an illusion.
49:44Once they do it, the fear goes away.
49:46Right.
49:47Totally.
49:48And that's what I meant is, you know, maybe you're not ready to do the, the splash it out on Instagram and charge $10,000 for it.
49:55Yeah.
49:55And that's why you feel like you can't do it because you're looking at somebody that's been doing it for a while.
50:01So you start where you're at.
50:03Yeah, I like that.
50:04OK.
50:05Thanks for, yeah.
50:06It's an idea of like, don't compare your behind the scenes to someone else's highlight reel, right?
50:10Or someone's maybe been doing it, like you said, a lot of these people that are huge that have millions of followers, they've been building that business building, that account for a decade, two decades.
50:24So, yeah, never compared exactly.
50:27I agree.
50:28But with the field of fear and do it anyway, you, you can't, he's so afraid of it that you're gonna shut down.
50:36So it's like finding that sweet spot of something that's a stretch that's not going to put you into a deregulated state where you feel like you can't.
50:43So it's starting with those small pieces and letting them be a bit of a leap.
50:48But not so much that you're gonna like, absolutely.
50:51Like your pants.
50:53Yeah, totally.
50:54Yeah.
50:55And I think that that's,, that's why we don't underestimate the power of a small step.
50:59Like it doesn't have to be a huge step.
51:01Small steps can, you know, introduce you to the right people to help you on your path, doors can open tools can appear.
51:09So, do you have any other,, final advice?
51:12Something we haven't mentioned yet for, you know, coaches or healers or anyone in that space that's trying to, to grow their business and be a facilitator of these programs, the world needs you now.
51:28So if you were having imposter syndrome and thinking like you can't maybe get out of your own way and stop making it about you, right?
51:39Start to understand that like it's, it's not about you.
51:44It's about what service you can offer the world because at the highest level you are here to help.
51:49So I love to just actually see if I can let my ego step out of the way, the one that's trying to keep me small, trying to keep me safe and I like to go, ok, let me just be a channel for the divine to flow through me.
52:03And the second I do that, I'm not worried about me anymore.
52:08It's how can I be of service, how can I help?
52:11And it is quite a shortcut to the Apostle syndrome and all of those other pieces.
52:17That's such a beautiful piece of advice.
52:20And, you know, I, I'm someone who loves public speaking.
52:22I've been in Toastmasters.
52:24I, I, I love getting speaking gigs and so many people are afraid of public speaking.
52:30And one of the best pieces of advice I ever got is it's not about you, it's about the audience, right?
52:35It's about connecting with the audience.
52:37So, and, and you can apply that to anything in life, right?
52:41Like we, we go into a room and we, oh my God.
52:44So there's one of my favorite poems is called on the day you read this by Lane Thomas.
52:48And there's this beautiful line in there that says no one's really judging you when you walk into a room and all they want to know is if you're judging them, right?
52:56We're, we're all just wrapped up in our own head in our own shit, right?
53:00And, and we think everyone's worried about us, but if we can turn that lens outward, especially as someone who's trying to help other people make it about them.
53:09It's, it's like it takes away so much of that anxiety and that fear because it's not about you anymore.
53:17Yeah, really.
53:19It's, it's such a hack truly to do that.
53:22And I heard someone say that when you are overly anxious about you and how you're showing up and all of that and worried about what people are thinking of you.
53:30It's, you're actually being quite narcissistic.
53:33Yes.
53:33You're making it all about you.
53:37Yeah.
53:38And that's why,, I also, you know, the Four Agreements is one of my favorite books and I'm sure you've read it, but it's why don't take anything personally is one of the best pieces of advice ever.
53:49Hey, it's, yeah, it's just, you know, everyone's so concerned about themselves or they're getting offended by all these things or, you know, they're, they're twisting things to make it about them and usually no one's thinking about you, right?
54:04They're thinking about themselves.
54:06So that's a hard lesson for a lot of people to learn, but it's such an important one.
54:11So listeners go read the four agreements.
54:13Awesome.
54:14So I know we've been talking about your program this whole time.
54:17People kind of know what you do at this point.
54:18Usually I have people share at the end, but maybe you can just share like how people can find you, how they can get in touch with you if they do want to work with you.
54:27Absolutely.
54:29There, there are lots of ways that I can support people at any stage, whether it's that personal development, spiritual development or the business development piece.
54:37So the place I'm at the most would be on Facebook or on Instagram.
54:43You can find me at luminous evolution on Facebook or the luminous evolution on Instagram or even tiktok or youtube.
54:51I am everywhere.
54:53That's how mine always goes to.
54:55I'm like, and this platform and this platform and all the links will be in the show notes too.
55:00So we've got that set for listeners.
55:03Well, awesome.
55:03Thank you so much for coming on Casey.
55:05I feel like we covered so many important things and I love these conversations because, you know, I don't, I don't really plan questions ahead of time.
55:15I, I like it to be really organic and I feel like we touched on really important things about being trauma informed and you know how to handle certain situations.
55:25So I, I appreciate your insight and your advice to everyone.
55:30for everyone listening, check out the show notes to find out how to get in touch with Casey, how to get in touch with myself.
55:36Check out my book, change your mind to change your reality.
55:39It's available in paperback ebook audio book.
55:42Please.
55:42Like share, subscribe, let's spread the good word and thank you all so much.
55:47Have a beautiful rest of your day.