0:01 - All right, everyone.
0:03 Welcome back to the Change Your Mind podcast.
0:05 I'm your host, Kris Ashley and I'm really stoked to have my guest on today.
0:09 This is Todd Baker.
0:11 He is a coach with Project Nine Life.
0:13 But what I'm really excited about is Todd and I have had several conversations later or lately where we are just vibing.
0:21 We are on the same alignment and it's, it's everything from life coaching to spirituality to what's going on with social media.
0:31 And even just before we press record, we were gee out.
0:34 So we decided to press record.
0:36 Bring you in on this conversation.
0:38 Hi, I'm Kris.
0:39 When I was younger, I went through trauma that caused me to feel broken and lost.
0:44 But my life changed after I had a spiritual awakening.
0:48 Since then, I've dedicated my life to studying and learning from masters all around the world that have helped me to create a life of fulfillment and abundance beyond my wildest dreams.
0:57 Now, I'm dedicated to sharing everything I've learned so that you don't have to suffer for decades.
1:02 Like I did, I've seen people's lives completely transform and I share it all right here and so Todd, I'm really excited.
1:10 You're here today.
1:11 Yeah, me too.
1:12 Me too.
1:13 Especially with an introduction like that.
1:15 Yeah, I know.
1:15 I know.
1:16 That's what I'm saying.
1:16 Sometimes we just got to wing it and keep it casual.
1:19 Well, that's what we were just talking about.
1:21 Right.
1:21 That so often you see these people online, like your Alex Tomos and your Grant Cardone and your Russell Bronsons and it's like they're almost like subhuman, but it turns out a lot of us life coaches are actually people.
1:33 Right.
1:34 Yeah.
1:35 Yeah.
1:35 It's, it's, it's, you know, we didn't, we learned from those guys and that, but what we learned was kind of like how to, how to structure stuff and everything like that.
1:47 But the, you're right, the stories that we share and the experiences that we draw from our, our own, you know, I'm not, I'm not drawing from, you know, Grant's upbringing or Russell's or, or yours.
2:00 It's like I, I teach what I teach and I coach what I coach because of like what stuff that I went through, which is different than what you went through.
2:11 And, you know, it, it, it's, it's just drawing on all those things, but we're just, you know, we're just real people like anyone else and it's just, we've chosen a different path totally.
2:26 And don't you think it makes someone a better coach when they've actually been through stuff and can empathize with their clients?
2:33 Yeah.
2:33 Well, and you know, II I actually heard and I've implored this actually is like, you, you shouldn't, if you're, if you're looking for a coach, you should not be looking for the coach that is mild ahead of you.
2:50 Like, you know, like a, like a Tony or something like that to where all the good that they've done throughout their lives and their careers.
2:59 Like, if you're struggling with currently or you're trapped with currently where you're at, like, you probably shouldn't go that route because they're so far ahead.
3:11 What you need to look for is a coach that's maybe two or three steps ahead of you.
3:16 So, it's recent, it's topical.
3:20 It, it, it makes sense because you're, you're going through the same stuff about the same time and, you know, you and I were gonna be able to speak a different language to people than, like, you know, and Tony is great.
3:35 I mean, he's amazing.
3:36 He's done unbelievable things throughout his career, but he is so far evolved from, you know, being trapped and just starting out that it, it's a, it's almost a different language that they're talking about.
3:51 Yeah.
3:51 Is it almost like he, he, it's hard for him to even connect with people at that level because it's just, there's such a barrier there, there's so much space there, like, and we're just, like, so much closer on the path.
4:06 Yeah.
4:07 I think that's a lot to do with it and I think it's a lot of it is just tiny.
4:11 You know, it's, you, you, you know, if you ask Tony, like when the last time you flew commercial was, you know, he's gonna be like, he's gonna be like, what do you mean?
4:23 Like, you know, but it's, it, it's not that their message doesn't, doesn't carry as much weight.
4:30 It's just, you're look, you know, people that are going through stuff, they're looking at him as, that's where I, that's my ultimate goal is to get up to there.
4:41 But you don't get to skip those steps in between.
4:44 That's where it's like, find someone that resonates with you and, and speaks the same language and has, like, those recent events that have changed and altered their lives that can speak more to kind of what you're going through and when, yeah, totally.
5:02 And that makes me think, what do you say to people who look at someone like Tony or like Alex?
5:08 And they're feeling intimidated or afraid to even get started or they have this imposter syndrome because there, that's like such a human thing, right?
5:16 To compare ourselves to others, especially with social media.
5:20 Oh, yeah.
5:20 Yeah.
5:21 And that's, you know, it's, it's not that you should be intimidated or, you know, I mean, they're, they're people too, just like anyone else, you know, it's just their, their, their per hour cost is a little bit a lot higher than you.
5:39 And I,, but, you know, it's it's really, you know, it's not the intimidation, it's just, are they, you, you need to put yourself in a context that are they speaking the language that is going to spur me to take action or are they speaking a language to which, you know, ultimately, that's where I want to get?
6:03 But what they're talking about or the language they're using or the references that they're taking are just like, it doesn't make me want to take action.
6:13 It's like, yeah, I wanna go to a Tony Robbins event.
6:17 Ok, that's great.
6:19 But what are you doing after it?
6:21 Like what action are you taking?
6:24 Because it's great to go.
6:26 It's an event for sure and you get to see it all and everything like that.
6:30 But in terms of your own personal development, is it spurring you to, to make a change or is it just like I can cross it off the list?
6:40 I saw, you know, Tony and Miami or, you know, I saw Dean and Cabo or whatever?
6:48 You know, and that's what you should be looking for in a coach.
6:51 Is someone that inspires you to take action and make a change.
6:59 Yeah, totally.
7:00 And especially with some of those big shows, I mean, Tony Robbins is fantastic live like go go see him.
7:07 It's like going to a concert, right?
7:09 You leave a 12 hour a day concert and you leave it that high.
7:14 So you know what, what is it?
7:16 That you find most inspires people to take action because as we both know, we can't really change other people.
7:25 Right.
7:26 It's, it's, they have to have that desire and that's probably one of the most difficult things as a coach is that you can't force anyone to do anything.
7:34 Right.
7:35 You can kind of give this blueprint, give this road map.
7:37 So I'm just curious, one coach to another.
7:40 What do you find inspires people the most?
7:43 You know, I think it's,, it, it, it's a combination of a couple of things.
7:47 It's, it's the inspiration of what could be, you know, that, that, that carrot that's out in front of everyone in the world that OK, if I, if I do this and I do it to the full effort, I know what that looks like.
8:05 Like I know where I'm going.
8:08 And then unfortunately, I think part of the inspiration too is the exact opposite.
8:14 Like if I don't do that, what, like what's changing or, you know, am I gonna start falling off of the cliff?
8:24 Am I gonna start, you know, cycling down in my life?
8:28 Because I'm not actually making progress or I'm stagnant and we all know in today's day and world, if you're not moving up, then you're moving down, I mean, because everyone else, you know, other people are growing as well.
8:42 So I think it's a combination of, you know, the carrot of, you know, if, if I take these steps.
8:48 I, I know what I can create and I know that I'm capable of it and, and truly that belief that, and it, it is, you're right, you can't force it on anyone.
8:59 It is a self-confident, self belief that I can see a path.
9:06 And that's why you have to pick the right coach.
9:08 You know, I, I hear what you're saying.
9:10 That's, that is inspiring me.
9:13 It makes sense to me.
9:15 I can see myself doing that and then it's, then it, then it just becomes the carrot and then, you know, the most inspiring thing is actually when you get into it and then you start making progress because then the trajectory of your life, you know, it goes from little progress to, you know, it just goes straight up because all of a sudden it's like, wow, I can do this and, and also in your body, you're starting to be like, what's next?
9:45 What's more, what, what else can I take on?
9:47 What else can I do?
9:49 You know, maybe my goal with my wealth or my relationships wasn't high enough.
9:56 And that's a great question.
9:58 I love when I get that question, it wasn't high enough.
10:01 Good, keep going, then get to that level and then push through and keep going.
10:08 You know, because it's amazing what you can create for yourself when you just start.
10:16 Yeah, it's, it's like you get hooked, I'm just letting my dog and you get hooked on that, that, that result that you see.
10:24 Right.
10:24 It's almost like you ride a high.
10:26 And I think, I think people like you and I are so hooked on our own personal development because we've seen that before.
10:33 And I love what you said is that you said something about if they can see themselves doing it.
10:39 So it's almost like breaking it into those bite size chunks where it's like, ok, this is actually attainable.
10:45 Like I, I can do this one small step, right?
10:48 And then it's like, oh my gosh, all this change happened from it and then, yeah, well, and that's, you know, we've talked about it before.
10:56 It's, it's, you, you're not comparing yourself to what you're seeing on the internet, to your neighbors.
11:04 Your only comparison is to yourself the day before and that, you know, if you're just getting that 1% better, you know, when you're thinking about it, it's like I can do that and then the next day you're like, I, I can do that too and then after a week goes by or two weeks, all of a sudden you're like, wait, I'm like way better than I, when I started.
11:25 I can, I can keep on this path because it, it is, it's achievable goals because your progress is only measured by yourself from the day before.
11:37 And when you start to feel that progress and then, you know, then you look back six months later, a year later.
11:45 And you're like, I don't even recognize who I was, you know, like, look at all, but none of it seems like a huge leap because you, you just did it little step by little step, you know, instead of, you know, make 2024 the best year ever and make a billion dollars and this and that, and it's like, that's not gonna happen.
12:08 You know, like, the only way you're making a billion dollars in 2024 is if you end 2023 with 900 million, let's just be honest, you know,, but you, if you break it in, if you break it down, anything is achievable and every step gives you, gives you confidence.
12:30 I love that.
12:30 I love that idea of not setting these crazy unrealistic goals because they're so much harder to stick to.
12:38 Right?
12:39 If it, it's like on, on January 1st, right?
12:42 New.
12:42 So I own a yoga company too.
12:44 And January February yoga studios are freaking packed March.
12:53 No, it just like trickles off because people set these crazy unrealistic goals for themselves.
12:58 Right.
12:58 They're like, I'm gonna work out for an hour, seven days a week and then I'm gonna go for a nightly walk and I'm gonna meditate for now and it's like some and, and it's just, it becomes so overwhelming that people can't even, they drop off.
13:11 Right.
13:12 Well, so I, I've got a little bit of a different take on it.
13:16 I think, I think when you, when you, when you set your goal, yeah, there should only be two things that it has to match up with.
13:25 One is that you can do it and you can be consistent with it every day for the rest of your life and two that it should have a huge positive impact on the rest of your life and your goal.
13:39 That end result should not be limited, make it as big and bold as you want.
13:45 Where you need to be more realistic is when you get to your house, like, how am I gonna get from where I sit today to ultimately where I want to go knowing that there's a lot of steps.
13:59 That's your realism.
14:00 That's your attainable step by step by step by step process.
14:06 But, you know, people fail at to come, you know, to see their resolutions.
14:12 One of the big ones is their goal isn't big enough, you know, it doesn't motivate them, it doesn't inspire them.
14:19 You know, they go into the year, they're like, this is a year, I'm gonna lose £10 and it's like, ok, well, that, that's great.
14:27 What are you doing for February?
14:29 You know, it, it's because it, it, it, it stops becoming inspiring to them because they hit it and then they just check it off and then they spend the next 11 months gaining it back or doing whatever.
14:42 And so that's where you have to have that goal be as big as you want, as long as it's something that you can commit to doing every day for the rest of your life and that it has a huge positive impact on the rest of your life.
14:58 So that's that mind shift that we're talking about.
15:01 It's not short time, it's lifetime, you know, when you're setting that ultimate goal.
15:07 Yeah, I like that makes me think about that, that saying like, oh yeah, I lost £100 last year but it was the same £10.10 different times because I kept gaining it back.
15:17 And I think that when some something is really important to you, you prioritize it, right?
15:23 So maybe that's when things start feeling really good, when things start making that positive impact that you're talking about, then you're more inspired to keep doing it every day.
15:33 Yeah.
15:34 Well, and that's, you know, that's, that's one of the things that you have to do is you go, go into anything, you have to identify.
15:41 What is your true inspiration?
15:44 Like, what is that core purpose that, that deeply seeded fire that's in you that you're like, I'm not failing because I can't fail for me.
15:54 It was my kids, right?
15:55 Like I can't, I'm not failing my kids and that, that it still echoes to this day.
16:02 But you know, it, it's, you gotta figure that out and then as you do make progress, you don't even have to think about it.
16:11 Your, your body, your mind, your soul, it devours progress and it just wants so much more and you gotta, you gotta keep it.
16:20 It's like I wanted to stop, but I couldn't, like I had to keep going because, you know, I felt like if I didn't, something was missing in my life and it's like that's exactly where, that's where you wanna get to because, you know, there's no such thing as a finished product.
16:39 You know, it doesn't matter who you are, be it, Elon Musk or Bezos or whoever they're, they're, they're still seeking growth.
16:51 Absolutely.
16:51 You have that hunger that drive inside of you.
16:54 We were just talking about this at dinner last night.
16:56 My, my husband and my in-laws and I, that people like Elon Musk, like one of the richest men in the world.
17:02 All he does is work, right.
17:04 He's still sleeping in his office sometimes.
17:06 And,, you know, we know people like that in our personal lives who are not billionaires, but certainly have several millions.
17:12 And all they do is work because it, it's that drive it, it fulfills them, it gives them purpose.
17:18 Yeah.
17:19 Well, and they've identified that is one of their, one of the, you know, their inspiration.
17:24 And what is that drive?
17:26 You know, other people.
17:27 It's like, you know, you can ask a, you could put 1000 people in a room and ask 1000 people like, what is your best life define it?
17:37 And you're gonna get 1000 different answers and some are gonna go more Elon and other people are gonna be like, you know what?
17:45 I just wanna get to the point where I could go on a vacation when I want and I don't have to worry about like, waiting for two weeks for a paycheck.
17:55 That is my best life.
17:56 That's awesome.
17:57 Let's get it because what'll happen is you'll start to make progress.
18:02 So you'll get to that stage and then you'll be like, all right,, I might, I was a little short sighted.
18:09 I actually won and you'll start to up, you'll start to level up.
18:13 Yeah.
18:14 That totally makes sense as you see more and more possibilities opening up before you.
18:19 Oh, yeah, for sure.
18:22 Yeah, it's, it's, it's a heads up society, like there's opportunity everywhere.
18:27 Don't be looking on the concrete in front of you for it.
18:30 Like, look around.
18:34 So I love this idea that you said about how we're basically meant for growth.
18:38 And I think that too, you know, life is always seeking greater fuller expression through you.
18:44 So, what do you think is going on with so many people who aren't achieving their goals, aren't achieving their dreams?
18:52 Well,, I mean, I think there's a lot that goes into it.
18:55 You know, there's societal stuff, there's, you know, there, there are friends and family who, as, you know, being an entrepreneur.
19:04 When you started out being an entrepreneur, the worst advice you got was from your friends and your family.
19:11 It's very true.
19:12 You know, it just, it, it just happens.
19:15 but you know it, that pressure of people saying, hey, you're doing good, just stay the status quo or you know, you start to get to the point to where there's some security in.
19:27 I know how much I'm making.
19:29 I know the family is taken care of.
19:32 We've got our two yearly vacations that we go on and you, you start to, for lack of a better term, you start to sell and you start to get comfortable in that, in that realm.
19:46 And it's something that people that grow are constantly growing.
19:53 They, they, they get comfortable being uncomfortable.
19:58 Yeah.
19:59 Like they're, you know, just constantly putting ourselves in new and different and, oh, I don't know about this type of situations but we're still going forward or, you know, digging into it because you never know when that opportunity is going to be there.
20:18 And I think the biggest thing that, that holds people back is fear.
20:24 It's the fear of the unknown.
20:26 It's the fear of trying something and not succeeding.
20:30 It's the, you know, that little voice inside of everyone's head that always creeps up like, ok, I'm gonna do this and that little voice goes well.
20:40 But what if, what if, what if, what if, and ultimately, what happens is then you go right back and that's, and, you know, we talked about it earlier.
20:50 That's one of the things that I talk to people about to combat that is instead of like getting to that point because fear is natural.
20:58 Anytime you're gonna do something new, it, fear is a natural, like emotion that you're going to go through.
21:06 But when that voice starts talking about, well, what if, what if, what if, what if, and you start knocking you back down?
21:13 Think about it as well.
21:15 What if I do it?
21:16 It works well.
21:18 What that, it's like, what will my life be if this actually works?
21:23 And sometimes that helps people is to take your and take your ultimate, like your best life and engineer it backwards instead of starting now, start with where you want to end up and work down and work backwards and say, and eliminate things that, you know, you don't want and put in things that you absolutely know you want and work that way because you'll start to see.
21:48 It's like, you know, like with gratitude, you know, you could start with one thing a day.
21:54 I'm healthy, right?
21:56 Like I'm alive, that starts, that's great.
21:59 You're, you're, you're grateful and thankful and that's something that's going right in your life is that you are alive.
22:08 But that list starts to grow as you start to dig into it and think about it.
22:12 Same thing with your, your goals.
22:14 You'll start to see more opportunities than you will obstacles and then you're, then you're gonna start, you know, start getting on that path.
22:24 I love that so much because that's so much of what I work with people on too is creating that perfect dream life, right?
22:30 Or that perfect, you can even do it with yourself, right?
22:34 You can say, what is that perfect person that I want to be?
22:38 Who do I want to be?
22:39 And then it's like, oh, how does that person dress?
22:42 How does that person speak?
22:43 How do they carry themselves?
22:45 What kind of conversations do they have?
22:46 Who do they hang around?
22:48 And, like you said, you can really reverse engineer this.
22:51 , so what about limiting beliefs?
22:54 How do those play a part?
22:55 I know we were talking about fear.
22:57 I, I don't know.
22:58 I think they're, they're sort of similar but I think there's a little bit of a difference.
23:01 I'd love to just hear your take on it.
23:03 Yeah.
23:03 I mean, limiting beliefs are just, that's that little voice in your head.
23:07 That's like it, it doesn't start to punch holes in it.
23:11 It starts to say things like, well, you're not good enough to do that or, you know, only superstars get there or, you know, your family isn't built that way or your dad never got there.
23:24 Your family never did that.
23:26 And, you know, we've talked about it like, ages zero through seven.
23:31 It's all down low.
23:33 Right.
23:34 And those beliefs get put into you.
23:36 Like, you know, God knows, go to high school, go to college, get a degree, go to work for some place and it limits people because it's a, it's, it becomes a core belief of theirs and it's something that I kind of look at that as limiting beliefs are made to be broken.
23:58 They're, they're just, they're made to be just crushed.
24:02 Like, and it takes confidence, It takes self-confidence, it takes belief in yourself to look at yourself in the mirror.
24:11 Take a hard look and say, you know what everyone's saying that I should be at X, forget them.
24:21 I'm going to why, you know, like you were talking about like, you know, what does the, what does, what does the person that ideal person, what are they dress like?
24:31 What do they do?
24:31 Where do they hang out?
24:33 You know, it's the old adage, you know, if you want to be a millionaire, go hang out with millionaires.
24:39 Like, don't go hang out with the group at Starbucks, you know, I mean, nothing wrong with that but they're not at that level.
24:46 They're having different conversations, they're having different interactions.
24:51 So put yourself in that situation and if you're not one, no one cares, you know, it's not like there's a, like a business card or something or a secret handshake that she gotta give you just show up and just be a human being and go have conversations listen, pay attention to what's going on because the the the most successful people will tell you exactly how they got.
25:17 I love that advice so much and it goes back to what two things we were talking about before.
25:22 One, they're just freaking people, right?
25:25 And two, you mentioned this earlier and I I took down a note to bring it back and you just brought it back so beautifully.
25:32 You made a comment about how you and I, and people like us learn from mentors, learn from free resources online.
25:39 And there is so much information out there, especially with books, all of these people who are writing books that's 100 pages worth of their best advice.
25:49 And it's just out there for you.
25:51 If you want it, it's out there for you.
25:53 Oh, yeah.
25:54 Yeah.
25:55 And you know, and don't, and, and when you get those books, like, don't think that you're buying it for 100% of what's covered.
26:04 You're not, you're buying it and like I buy books because I can pick stuff up and I get some great quotes and some great just guidance and a different perspective on things.
26:17 And, you know, I got a highlighter and a pad and a paper and I'm just like going through and taking that stuff that I'm learning and I'm turning around and incorporating it into like what I, what I coach on and what I help people with because regardless I'm gonna read more than, well, pretty much a lot of people maybe except for you.
26:42 , but it's the perspective of, ok, I'm gonna buy a 300 page book.
26:49 If I get like three or four things out of this, this was worth it.
26:55 You know, because I can take those things and those concepts and those thoughts, that perspective and sometimes it changes or shapes a little bit of, kind of your view on things and that's really what you want.
27:08 You know, a lot of, a lot of, a lot of successful people, like you're talking about, like, we have coaches and mentors and stuff like that.
27:16 Like, it's not because we want cheerleaders.
27:19 Like, I want a coach that has a different perspective that might completely disagree with a lot of the stuff that I say or do.
27:29 But I value their perspective because they give me the opposite of my thoughts and sometimes it's like, oh, I'm really glad I didn't do that because you were right about Xy and Z and then there's other times where I look and I'm like, I, I don't, that's great that you have a different perspective.
27:48 I'm still going.
27:51 Yeah.
27:51 And it, and a lot of times it's people who have walked the path, right.
27:54 Like, I have a business coach who's teaching me all this, all this marketing stuff, all this other stuff and, and he's doing it right.
28:02 And I've never done it, but he's, he's making seven figures doing it.
28:06 So it's like those are the people that you wanna, you wanna learn from the people that have done it and walked the path and, you know, it also goes back to what we were saying.
28:16 I think before we pressed record about how, you know, someone might say something that just resonates different.
28:24 Like when you're reading all of these books, like you might have been explaining something a very specific way to your clients and then they're saying the same thing in that book, but they just word it different and it just clicks with people different or at different stages in people's journey, it clicks with them different.
28:41 So yeah, and I love that you're such a book nerd like I am because, and I, I, you and I have had so many conversations I know we talked about this once but you know, there's not really that much new information out there.
28:54 But what we can do is we can learn from all of these sources.
28:59 We can read all these books, we can learn from these coaches, go to these workshops, take the bits that helped us the most on our journey and then distill them for other people and put them together in a new way that's gonna help people that maybe aren't going to read those 100 books in the last six months that you and I have read.
29:15 Right.
29:16 So yeah, I, you know, I mean, it, it another term, like if you wanna look at a coach, the best kind of term that it truly describes us is we're conduits.
29:29 We take, we take our personal experience, we take all of the stuff that we're doing to help educate ourselves, reading seminars, you know, everything that comes out that's like, hey, join us for this.
29:43 It's like, great.
29:44 I'll, I'll spend an hour and if I get one thing I'm good and we're just conduits.
29:50 So we take all that, we distill it and then we just turn around and give it away.
29:56 Not, I mean, to our coaching clients and be like, look guys like this is a different perspective, a different way of saying it a different way of looking at it because in the end, we want our clients to succeed, the more that our clients succeed that, that, that's, that's the true like measuring stick of what you and I do is how well those are our clients, how well they do.
30:27 And you know, that's, I mean, it's a huge sense of pride for both of us when those like you get people that just like that, that, that moment they have and they, it clicks and all of a sudden they go from like, you know, sitting like this to they're like this and they're animated and they're louder and their confidence is up and they start asking about, well, what's next, what's next?
30:51 And it's like, ok, like you've established a new level of you.
30:56 Let's go because it, then it starts to feed the other people in the group, like, like anything else?
31:02 Like,, what are you having?
31:04 I want some of that and it just starts, starts to feed and all of a sudden you get a huge group that starts doing that.
31:11 And you know, that, that's, that's the aim is like taking a society and just getting people to own their own lives and make their own choices and what truly makes them happy.
31:27 Absolutely.
31:29 And I love that, like, seeing clients have breakthroughs is why we do this work.
31:34 It's, it's, it's literally why we do all the work.
31:36 And it's, I, I mean, I, I feel like I can speak for you.
31:39 Like, just like me, it's like your mission, your purpose on this planet to help other people.
31:44 Yeah, you're absolutely right.
31:47 That's very true.
31:49 So, is there some common thread that you found that people need to just give them that, like, little boost to get over the edge to get over the hump if they're feeling stuck?
31:58 Like, what is, is there that one thing that you found?
32:02 And maybe there's not, I don't know.
32:04 Yeah.
32:04 No, there, there is.
32:06 And it, for each individual, how they find it is different.
32:10 But the one thread that the people that succeed the most have is clarity.
32:16 .
32:17 They, they know where they're going and so all these clouds and fog and storms and all this stuff starts to come in on them and they don't care because they're like, I'm going this way and you can, you can crowd me and try to knock me off course or knock me down or whatever.
32:40 Iii I see clearly.
32:43 I know where I'm going.
32:44 And so that's the biggest key is like, being clear.
32:48 And like I said, that's part of the homework that I have people do before they ever sign up is like, what is, you know, are you living your best life if the answer is no, what does it look like and be very clear about it?
33:03 Because it just, it gives you like, OK, I know where I'm going because people don't think about it, right?
33:10 They, they, they, they go to Instagram and they're like, I want that boat and I wanna go to that castle and I wanna go do this and do that.
33:20 And it's like, but what does it mean for you, like, be clear about what you actually, you're, what, where you're going.
33:30 You know, you're gonna have course corrections along the way.
33:33 Just don't let it get in the way of your path and what you're clearly going for.
33:39 That's the one key I think.
33:40 And that's, you know, I'll speak for you now, I think that's for both of us is that providing clarity to yourself is the one key thing that's gonna keep you pushing forward because until you get to where you want to go is still out in front of you.
34:01 I love that answer so much.
34:02 Yeah, it's like you have that North Star and no II, I absolutely love that answer.
34:09 So you're talking about how those people that are so focused.
34:12 And by the, by the way, I do want to say a lot of clients come to me and they have no freaking idea what they want.
34:17 So part of what we do is helping them get because they do know but they're so, they're so stuck in what they don't want, right.
34:27 They're so stuck in the daily grind of work money, sleep entertainment.
34:31 And it's, it's hard for them to see a vision.
34:33 So working with a coach, even anyone but especially Todd, especially me, you're gonna get your vision really clear.
34:41 And so you mentioned something you said, OK, so if people are really clear on their vision, they have that, that North Star they're looking at.
34:47 It doesn't matter what fog comes in, what challenges.
34:51 But there are so many people who have a goal, they have a dream, they're not working with coach probably and challenges come up or adversities come up or it doesn't happen on the first or the second or the fifth try and they end up giving up, right?
35:06 Or they end up getting overwhelmed.
35:08 Like what do you say to those people?
35:09 How do you help those people?
35:12 Well, the, the biggest thing is like once, once you've done your self discovery to identify your true North star, right?
35:22 Like do the exercise.
35:24 Like, you know, people talk about all the time, go 24 hours and say nothing negative, just do it 24 hours.
35:33 You can't say one negative thing.
35:34 It's the same thing with your North Star.
35:36 Like when you're thinking of like where you want to be, you can't say anything negative, It has to be positive.
35:44 Like I'm going to or put yourself there, like write your goals as if you already live them.
35:51 Like, don't write, I'm going to be a millionaire, right?
35:54 I am a millionaire.
35:56 So once you get that identified after that, you need to identify, well, what's what, what, what's hindered you in the past?
36:06 Like what's come up?
36:07 What obstacles did you face that ultimately knocked you around a little bit, knocked you back, made you stop.
36:15 Like, what are those items that are in your life?
36:19 And in those four or five times that you've tried before?
36:23 What ultimately was it that you faced that either you, you became a challenge for you or where you're s you're hard line?
36:33 Like I can't do this, I'm gonna go backwards to where I was before and then identify, ok, when this comes up again because it will come up again.
36:45 What is your game plan?
36:47 And you, and you think about that and if you put together your game plan before you actually launch into whatever it is that you're doing.
36:58 When those things do come up, you're the Titanic, you see an iceberg 100 miles ahead and, you know, it's sitting out there but you're just gonna start to gradually make your turn way ahead of time and sometimes you don't even see the obstacle.
37:15 Right.
37:15 It's just like, oh, that happened.
37:18 But I, you know, I was way over here already instead of being a speedboat because that's what happens to people.
37:25 They're like, I gotta make progress and they go, go, go, go, go and then an obstacle shows up and they're going way too fast, way too hard.
37:33 They're way too close to where there's no alternative but to turn sideways and, you know, potentially go back.
37:42 So it's identifying those things ahead of time and come up with a game plan.
37:47 You know, it could be, you gotta go around, it could be, you gotta go over, it could be, you gotta go through it, whatever.
37:53 Ultimately it is.
37:55 But have that, have that discussion with yourself to say, like if it's le let's say it's health and you're like, I'm just gonna go for a walk every single day.
38:05 Ok.
38:05 Well, what's happened in the past?
38:07 Well, holidays, ok.
38:09 Well, what's your plan or it started raining?
38:13 Ok.
38:14 Well, what's your plan?
38:15 It started, you know, winter camp?
38:17 Ok.
38:17 What's your plan like, you know, identifying those things that, that derailed you and just come up with an alternative plan to keep making progress, super smart, such great advice that listeners can just take right away.
38:34 So do you think people can truly change?
38:40 I have, yeah, I mean, I have, you know, and that's, you know, that's, you know, my journey started with me being unhealthy or not eating good, you know, not active and I made the decision that because my kids, you know, I wanted to be an active participant in their lives with them.
39:06 Not on the sidelines, going, here's 20 bucks, go have fun, but I wanted to show them what life was about and the, just the opportunities that are out there, I changed my entire direction.
39:18 , you know, to the fact that now like ITI, I coach people on it.
39:24 , and it's just because it, it's, it's not what I do anymore.
39:31 It's like it's who I am.
39:33 Like I still go for a walk every single day, you know, and, and I still am active every single day and it doesn't matter, rain, shine, whatever I'll come up with, I've got alternative plans already in place that you don't have to think about it anymore.
39:49 It's just you wake up, you look out, it's like, oops, snowing.
39:53 I already know what the, I know.
39:55 I already know what I'm doing.
39:56 , so, yeah, I absolutely can.
39:59 I absolutely believe that people can change and the thing to keep in mind.
40:05 Is if you truly want to retool yourself, give yourself a year, but just keep in mind you do not need permission to retool yourself.
40:16 I don't care what age you are.
40:19 If you want something different, do something different.
40:24 And you know what's really cool about that is that you are probably inspiring your kids without even realizing it, you're probably making them more active people, right?
40:34 And making them more confident people.
40:38 And that's, that's what happens when you work on your own personal development, you affect your circles, right?
40:45 And then they affect their circles and, and you, you rise up and everyone else rises to meet you at your level, right?
40:56 Well, you know, it's like, you know, you and I've done it, you can bark at your kids 1000 times about you need to do this, you need to do that and they don't listen at all.
41:07 But yet when you're focused on yourself and your journey and you, you've got your why and you know why it's important and I shared it with my kids.
41:16 Like I would, I told them flat out like this is what I'm doing.
41:20 You guys are why I'm doing it and I went through and listed everything and you know, they're like, I, I told him I was like, I need help from you guys.
41:28 If I feel like not going, you need to get on me.
41:32 And my daughter was the first to be like I'll do that.
41:35 , you know the girl.
41:39 Oh, yeah.
41:40 No, she, she, she, it was like three weeks after and it was snowing.
41:46 I was cooking breakfast and she comes downstairs and she goes, hey, dad, you go for your walk today.
41:50 And I was like, oh, I said, I'm gonna see what the weather does, but yes, I'm going, I just wanna see if it'll clear up and without even,, hesitation, she just looked me straight in the eye and she goes, you mean now I was like, love her.
42:05 Ok.
42:06 Yes, I do.
42:07 And I'll, and I, and I went and the moment that what that taught me the most and it still gives me chills to think about that moment in one microcosm of a comet taught me that because it was important to me and I had shared that with them.
42:27 It, it was important to them as well and that, that, I mean, that, that will drive me every day for the rest of my life that, you know, I'm important to them just as much as they are important to me.
42:44 And it talks to accountability too.
42:46 Right?
42:46 Sometimes telling other people your goals and dreams can really help you keep accountable as long as you're telling the right people.
42:54 Right.
42:55 Well, and when you tell people how they react will tell you very quickly.
43:02 Are they going to be part of your circle moving forward or not?
43:07 And it's i it's you know, it's no one wants to talk about it, but as you grow and evolve your circle, your circle will change there.
43:18 You know, you, you're gonna have cheerleaders, you're gonna have people that are joining you and then you're gonna have people that they don't like it.
43:24 They want to keep you in the status quo, but the ball is in your court at that point.
43:30 Do you want, what, what's your association like?
43:34 Are you still gonna like hang out but not as much?
43:38 You're not gonna partake in that stuff or are you gonna look at it as look man, as great as this is, you're an anchor and I'm cutting the chain.
43:47 Yeah, that's so important.
43:49 And the other part of that you kind of mentioned is that as you start to change and grow and your life starts to evolve, new people are gonna enter it that are on that new higher level.
44:01 It's like you change frequency, you change vibration.
44:05 Oh Yeah, I mean, look at, look at us, I mean, honestly, like we're, we're a perfect example of it.
44:11 Like our two worlds did not intertwined anyway until about like, you know, whatever it was a month and a half ago.
44:22 You know, we've, this is our third different time together and we've shared a bunch of stuff and stories and it's just because we speak about the same types of stuff, but we're both ready.
44:36 We, we were both in the mode, emotionally, confidence wise, whatever to where we accepted.
44:44 Like, hey, we're, we're basically, you know, kind of talk about the same thing to a lot of the same audience and I'm perfectly happy with that and you're perfectly happy with it because you resonate with some, I resonate with others.
45:00 And you know, it, it goes to just this whole industry and in general is that as you start to gain confidence and you start to level up, you become an attractor.
45:13 Like people just start finding their way into your life without you searching them out.
45:21 It's so true.
45:22 And I've been in so I've been doing a lot of podcast interviews, like being an interviewee on other shows just to promote my book.
45:30 And at first it was just to promote my book.
45:32 But I have made so many amazing connections.
45:36 I mean, like you said, I met you and so many of them, I'm like, oh my gosh, I love this conversation.
45:41 I love talking to you.
45:42 Come on my show, let's keep talking, let's keep the conversation going.
45:46 And I mean, it's building your network, right?
45:51 It's, it's being around other people who are like minded and by the way, it's so good for even for us to be around and have these conversations just to remind ourselves about this kind of stuff, right?
46:04 Because we too, oh yeah, it's like, you know, it, it, it's like you, you know, either you'll say something or I'll say something and it'll be like, oh, yeah.
46:14 Crap.
46:14 II, I did talk about that and then I left talk.
46:18 I gotta, that's a good point.
46:19 I gotta remember that.
46:20 I do talk about this stuff.
46:22 But, yeah, it's, it, it's just, it's, and people will find that, I promise you, like, as you start to level up your life, you will find more people like that that wanna hang out with you and wanna be associated with you.
46:39 You know, we've all, we've all, you know, if, if you're in a bad mindset, you look at it and you're like, God, that guy, he's always busy.
46:46 He's always got people coming up to him.
46:48 He's got it made.
46:49 No, he doesn't.
46:51 That you see the top 10% of that iceberg, you don't see the 90% below that's kicking like mad to keep progress and keep going up and that 10% that you see, that's just the result of all of that work and it's because they have changed their path and their trajectory to where people want to associate with them.
47:17 It's so true.
47:18 And you also don't see the years and years and years of work that they've probably put in to get to that point.
47:26 Yeah.
47:26 You know, it's, I mean, getting, getting to the stage where you and I are or where anyone is, where they're starting to, like, be like, OK, this is, this is working.
47:39 It's,, you know, I'm I'm establishing this, I'm starting to gain, you know, notoriety or clientele or, you know, progress, whatever it's like, it takes, it takes time, it takes effort.
47:52 It takes like paying attention to sometimes the smallest little details that get you there.
48:01 And that's that 90% of the iceberg that's below the surface that no one sees.
48:06 But you're kicking like mad down there to keep going.
48:11 And I think that's such a good message for people who are comparing themselves to social media.
48:17 It's like comparing your behind the scenes to someone else's highlight reel.
48:21 Right.
48:21 There's so much more that you're not seeing that's going into all of that.
48:26 Yeah.
48:26 No.
48:26 Yeah.
48:27 No, no, no one's out there posting like, you know, them getting up at five o'clock to go work out, you know, and if they do it's, it's followed very quickly by, you know, a success video of, see, I got up early and worked out and look at the rest of my day was fantastic.
48:46 , you know, it's, you're absolutely right.
48:49 It's, you're individually, you're going to put in the hard work and you, you might be the only person that sees it.
48:56 Who cares?
48:58 Exactly.
48:59 I love that because if you're doing it for you right at the end of the day.
49:03 Yeah.
49:03 It's the, one of the, one of my favorite stories I had this client who she just, it clicked like week six.
49:11 She was just like, like you could just tell like she got it and, and I was like, II I asked her, I said, Katie, what, like what happened?
49:20 Like, what changed?
49:22 And she's like two things.
49:23 She goes, one, she's like, I went and I didn't have to think about like my physical journey.
49:32 She's like, I didn't have to think about it.
49:33 And she's like, two people stopped asking me about what I was doing to get fit.
49:40 Like they just stopped because like, this was the new level of me.
49:44 And she's like, and, and then she, and then the coolest thing is she goes, what was really cool was one of my friends came to me and said, hey, I'm really proud of you.
49:57 You're doing really well.
50:00 I'm happy that you've made this progress and she goes, that wasn't the cool part.
50:04 The cool part is in my head.
50:07 I looked at her and I thought, wait until you see what I do next.
50:12 Oh Yeah, I love that.
50:13 That gave me, I was like, oh my God, like you, you're, you're just like, you're gonna explode onto the scene of what I, whatever she's doing in life.
50:26 Like I'm like, you have nailed it and just seeing her light up when she said that because I knew it was true.
50:34 You know, you could just feel it.
50:36 She's like, wait until I wait till you see what I do next.
50:39 And I was like, huh?
50:40 Yeah, I, I'm glad I get to be here with you because she's, she's, she's killing it.
50:48 I love that.
50:49 They gave me goosebumps and I think that's also such a good message for people out there who are like, there's gonna be haters, right?
50:59 But especially if you're doing something where you're putting yourself out in public on the internet, you know, like you and I both put out content, but if you can have that attitude about it, you're like, all right.
51:10 There's haters out there that means I'm doing something right?
51:13 And just wait till I, what I do next.
51:15 You're gonna be even more pissed, but I'm not gonna keep going.
51:19 It doesn't matter what you think.
51:21 Yeah.
51:21 Yeah.
51:21 It's, it's, it's, that's exactly it, it's like I'm putting, I'm putting my face and my voice and my thoughts and everything and I'm posting it all intending just to stir up something in people to, you know, be like to think about something to email me to whatever.
51:42 And y your response to that is you send me an anonymous direct message that says that Xy and Z it's like, ok, that's thank you.
51:54 I'm going to keep going, you know, and that's exactly it, you know, it's like that attitude of just, just wait until you see what I do next.
52:04 It's, you know, it's, it's like that old ad.
52:08 It's, I've got whatever posters all over my house, but one of them is like,, you don't have to advertise the work that you put in, let the results speak for themselves.
52:22 And that's exactly what you and I do.
52:24 It's like we don't show that 90% kicking.
52:28 It's just that top 10%.
52:30 But at some point it gets to that stage and then it's like people just start to take notice.
52:37 They, like, why do I keep seeing the same faces and the same names every time that I look for development or inspiration, these people keep showing up, there's a reason.
52:52 Exactly.
52:53 Exactly.
52:54 And my, my spiritual side is also like, you're also attracting us.
52:59 But yeah, you're absolutely right.
53:01 It's, it's like do the work, put yourself out there and people are gonna find you, people are gonna notice you and you know, the, especially when you're starting out, it is so hard, it is so overwhelming and intimidating and I feel for everyone that's in that, but you have to know that your message is unique and you have something important to share and you're gonna say it in a way that no one else can and you just have to keep going and keep putting yourself out there and you're gonna hit that tipping point that, that we're talking about right?
53:34 Where suddenly people are noticing and people are noticing the progress and the work and they're like, hey, that's someone I want to learn from.
53:43 Right.
53:44 That's exactly it.
53:45 Like, you know, it, it'll, you could be saying the same thing and then now that 50th time that you say it is the one time that you say it, that someone's like, wait, now it makes sense.
54:00 Actually, I'm gonna email that person or I'm gonna call them or I'm gonna look at this right now because that made sense.
54:08 And it's just, it, it's, you know, all the, all the work that we're putting in like reading and online, you know, whatever you wanna call them webinar stuff and trainings and all that stuff.
54:23 It's, it's all with intent.
54:25 Yes, to get our message out there.
54:28 But with all good intentions, like we wanna help as many people as possible.
54:35 And the last thing that you or I want in our lives is to be a coach that's in the witness protection program that does no one any good.
54:46 Right.
54:47 So, it's like we're putting our, we're putting ourselves out there so stop the bad comments.
54:55 People, I'm just kidding.
54:56 I know.
54:57 I know.
54:57 , the internets.
55:00 Yeah.
55:02 You know, the thing is, is like most of those people are coming from their own pain and their own fear.
55:06 Right.
55:07 So, you know, if, if someone, if someone is, you know, your time, energy and attention or your currency in this world and if someone is spending that attacking a stranger online, you've got to feel bad for him to some point.
55:20 Right.
55:21 Because that's kind of like that.
55:22 Yeah, it's, there's something else going on that they're in their lives that, that's their outlet.
55:30 And you, you know, that's why you, you can, you just just, you, you know, you don't even look at it.
55:38 Yeah.
55:38 It's just like, that's great, you know.
55:41 It's like, yeah, I mean, how many, how many hats does this guy have?
55:46 It's like, I got a lot of hats.
55:48 So, and you're not insulting me by pointing it out yet.
55:51 And I could, I could wear a new one pretty much every day.
55:55 Have you seen that Brene Brown Talk where she found that?
55:59 I think it was Benjamin Franklin quote about if people aren't in the arena with you doing the hard work with the sweat and the blood on their face, then she doesn't even, you can't even because what is it like?
56:11 You know what?
56:11 I'm just gonna find it and read it because it's, it's that good and we're gonna do that right now.
56:20 You're gonna love it.
56:25 Ok?
56:26 I found it.
56:27 All right.
56:28 Listen to this.
56:29 Ok?
56:29 It is not the critic who counts, not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles or where the doer of deeds could have done them better.
56:38 The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood who strives valiantly who errs who becomes, who comes short again and again because there is no effort without error and shortcoming, but who does actually strive to do the deeds, who knows?
56:57 Great enthusiasms, the great devotions who spends himself in a worthy cause, who at the best knows in the end, the triumph of high achievement and who at the worst if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory or defeat like, oh my God, I just got goosebumps.
57:19 Isn't that so powerful?
57:21 Yeah.
57:22 No, it, it, that's exactly what it is.
57:25 And you know, the one, the one, well, that all that all speaks to it.
57:31 But I think the one thing that people out there listening, what they can take from that is when you have those doubts and you have those fears and you're looking at something thinking, I don't know if I want to do this, keep the one thing in mind you are worthy.
57:54 .
57:56 That's, that's the one that, that was the one piece that I was like, that speaks to everyone out there.
58:02 It's like if you are not gonna take a chance on yourself, who are you taking a chance on so dare to be great, like you said.
58:15 Exactly.
58:16 I love that and I feel like you and I could literally talk for hours and I just looked at the clock and we've been going for over an hour.
58:22 So,, you know, you know, and it's funny, usually I start these off by being like, give me your background what do you do?
58:29 And we just kind of launched straight into it because I think I was just so excited to talk to you.
58:33 So, you know, tell me what, tell people what Project Nine is, tell people how they can work with you, what you do.
58:41 And I can find you all the good stuff.
58:43 Yeah.
58:43 So the, my company, my coaching company is called Project Nine Life.
58:49 you know, email us at info at Project Nine life.com and I will tell you at that call, why it's called Project Nine.
58:58 I'll save that for a story for a little bit later.
59:03 Well, you're gonna have to tell me because now I'm in suspense.
59:05 I know I will.
59:07 , but it's the, it's a, it's a very simple coaching program.
59:13 So you get a few things with it.
59:16 First is just a complimentary discovery call.
59:18 It's a half hour.
59:20 We just wanna know where you're coming from, where you wanna go and how we can help you.
59:26 It has to be a two way street.
59:28 You know, I have to resonate with you and I have to be able to help you at the same point.
59:34 And then once you, once from there, then you're gonna get an introductory worksheet, an introductory video that's gonna explain how the worksheet works.
59:45 And then it's eight weeks worth of once a week group zoom calls, that you, you know, we're gonna have a community around So you're gonna have people at different stages.
59:57 Some will be week one, some will be week six.
1:00:00 But the intent there is to put everyone together and it's a little bit of learning, a little bit of teaching.
1:00:08 It's a lot of sharing and learning from each other.
1:00:14 I take Furious notes during the classes because some of the things that people share with each other are absolute gold, like in terms of I was faced with an obstacle and this is what I did and I'm like, damn like that was a good idea and I'm writing stuff down.
1:00:33 And over the course of that eight weeks, I can promise you, you will make progress if you go through and you identify your, get your clarity, you identify your why and you commit to what you're saying that you're going to commit to, you will start to make progress and towards the end, it's gonna start going faster.
1:00:57 And at that point, then you become, you know, Katie and she's like, yeah, wait until you see what happens next and I look forward to working with you and talking to you and you know, it's a complimentary call.
1:01:11 So most is gonna cost you is a half hour out of your day.
1:01:17 It could change your life.
1:01:19 There you go, reach out to Todd, email him.
1:01:22 I'm gonna have all of his links in the show notes so you can find him, you don't even have to remember.
1:01:27 You can just click it or copy paste and, go check out my work as well.
1:01:33 My email or my website is krisashley.net.
1:01:36 You can find my book, change your mind and change your reality and paperback, ebook, audio book and Todd.
1:01:42 Thank you so much for being here.
1:01:44 I always enjoy our conversations and I'm grateful our paths have crossed and I, I have a feeling they're going to keep crossing.
1:01:50 So, thanks for coming on.
1:01:52 Absolutely.
1:01:53 Thanks, Kris.
1:01:54 It was great to be here.
1:01:55 I appreciate it.
1:01:56 And,, thanks to everyone that's watching.